Quarantine Journal #5

Prompt: How have your thoughts toward school changed?

I have absolutely no motivation to do school. My schedule consists of laying in my bed for six hours and eating. Now that I don’t have to leave my house I just sit on my couch all day and do nothing even though I have assignments due. When I used to spend seven hours a day at school I would work hard because I was in an environment that isn’t built on household comforts. But when I’m at home and I am comfortable I can do literally anything except for complete schoolwork. It’s like Newton’s first law. An object in motion stays in motion while an object at rest tends to stay at rest. When I’m really working hard then I have no problem resisting temptations and completing thorough work. But when I’m relaxed and comfortable I absolutely cannot go back to doing work. It is a very unhealthy balance especially because once one or two weeks pass I have nothing turned in. Then I have to scramble to finish an absurd amount of work in a little bit of time with little motivation. This causes stress. Lately I have been working really hard to get back into a working rhythm and introduce more structure in my life. It’s so crazy to admit but I actually miss going to school everyday. Even though I didn't love going to school everyday I would trade anything for that opportunity because online school is way worse. Zooms also scare me. I like it when I can actually have a conversation with somebody but online conversations are formal and awkward. I don’t get to talk to teachers face to face, which I find much more comfortable than emailing and it’s harder to grasp topics over the internet. Although I have started to think negatively about online school I have started to think positively about going to school. I can’t wait until next year when I can see my friends everyday and get my work done. My thoughts on school have changed so much in the past months that I cannot believe I am actually looking forward to returning to school.

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